Can it get more perfect than this?
I didn't realize that motherhood is a 24/7 job. I think about it now, and I have to laugh at myself for not knowing that before, but I guess how would I? How would I know unless I'm living it? I'm living it now. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Even when I get a few moments to myself, I'm still thinking about Blaise, wondering if he's crying because he just wants his mom.
But even though it's completely exhausting, this is by far, the best job I have ever had.
We had the most perfect weekend together. Friday night I spent cleaning. How rewarding. There's nothing like a tidy living room to boost my spirits (seriously). I paid some bills and wrote our tithe check for the week. Both are highlights. Aaron wonders why I'm not an accountant or bookkeeper. I love that kind of stuff. I actually get excited when the checkbook doesn't balance. It's a thrill trying to find where the mistake is...as long as it's found within a reasonable amount of time; otherwise, it's just annoying.
Saturday morning was lazy. We all slept in - Blaise and me more than Aaron. Aaron got the oil changed in the car. We spent the afternoon doing some chores and other little things around the house. I made supper for the first time in forever. It wasn't anything fancy: spaghetti, peas, and garlic toast. But my husband was impressed. :) It's not too hard to please him when he could live off of pasta for the rest of his life.
Today (Sunday) we got time to cuddle in bed, just the three of us, before Mass. Blaise entertained us with his wide-eyes, farting, and spitting up. Mass was wonderful even though the only thing from Father's homily that I remember was his question, "What gifts and talents did God give you specifically and no one else?" I've heard questions similar to that about 1000 times, but he asked it as I was sitting down in the back of church getting ready to nurse a fussy Blaise. It hit me: God gave me gifts and talents specifically to be the mother of Blaise Beauclair. I've had these talents all my life, and now they are going to be used. I have something to give him that no one else can. Being a mom is such an awesome gift! A little bit daunting, but awesome.
This afternoon I scrubbed the seats in the car (again, cleaning = much gratification) and took a two hour nap with my baby. Waking up and feeling actually rested was glorious. We used a giftcard and had Chili's for supper. We gave Blaise a bath. He loves bath time, and by loves I mean he doesn't scream. His expressions lately are calm and raging angry with a glimmer of a smile here and there. I love bath time because I love seeing my husband be a dad. Aaron talks to Blaise while he's scrubbing him down. He says silly things to him and makes silly faces. Yes, this is Aaron Beauclair I'm talking about. I told him tonight that I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who has ever seen him silly like this. He agreed. :) I love it.
The best part of this weekend was continuously being overwhelmed with the simplest moments. Cuddling in bed, I felt like a family. Driving home from Mass, I felt like a family. Blaise and I following Aaron around while he vacuumed, I felt like a family. This is how it ought to be. This is how it is. I have the best job in the world.
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